Why We Don’t Buy Cond0ms For Our Husbands — Wives
Despite male cond0ms being one of the methods of preventing unplanned pregnancies and sexually transmitted infections, many Nigerian married women can’t buy them for their husbands for fear of being accused of infidelity and promiscuity.
Although the women could buy gifts and other personal items for their husbands such as boxers, singlets, clothes, and perfumes, they dared not buy cond0ms for them.
Findings showed that Nigerian women especially the married ones do not have control over their bodies and sexual and reproductive health due to cultural and religious beliefs.
Our correspondent observed that the women were afraid of being judged and misunderstood by their spouses.
Besides cond0ms, other methods of contraception include oral contraceptive pills, implants, injectables, patches, vaginal rings, and intrauterine devices, among others.
Family planning is a vital part of reproductive health in Nigeria, yet many married women face challenges in managing their fertility due to poor awareness about their sexual and reproductive rights.
The Federal Government has recognised that investing in family planning could significantly reduce maternal mortality by up to 30 per cent.
The Special Adviser to the President on Health, Dr. Salma Anas-Kolo emphasised the critical role that access to family planning services plays in improving maternal health outcomes, adding, “Family planning is more than a health service, it is a critical component of maternal and child health.
Many stakeholders have on several occasions reiterated the need to use contraceptive concepts to regulate the explosive population growth in Nigeria.
As of 2023, Nigeria’s population was estimated at around 226.2 million with the country being projected to overtake the US to become the world’s third most populated country by 2051.
However, observed that despite various campaigns aimed at promoting family planning, many women still struggle to protect themselves from unplanned pregnancies.
This is often due to their husbands’ refusal to use condoms, highlighting a significant barrier to effective family planning.
Some of the women who spoke with our correspondent said they could buy other things for their spouses but not condoms.
For 32-year-old Mrs.Tola Adeyemi, a mother of two, buying cond0ms for her husband is unthinkable.“I can’t buy a condom for my husband.
“He will accuse me of infidelity if I should try it. He might even think that I’m promiscuous and such feelings could affect our marriage.”
Ogunyemi, a 35-year-old businesswoman, shared a similar sentiment, saying “I am afraid my husband will suspect that I’m trying to control him or that I don’t trust him.”
Ogunyemi recalled a recent experience at a pharmacy, adding “I went to a pharmacy once to buy male cond0ms, and the attendant looked at me suspiciously. I felt ashamed and didn’t buy them.”
Another married woman, Mrs. Johnson said, “I bought condoms once, and my husband was offended. He said I was accusing him of cheating.
“And I am too afraid to ask my husband to use condoms. I don’t want him to think I don’t trust him. “I wish I could buy cond0ms without feeling ashamed.”
Johnson argued that societal expectations played a significant role in this reluctance.
She added, “In Nigeria, women are expected to be submissive and obedient. Asking my husband to use condoms might be seen as challenging his authority.”
For Mrs. Bolanle Olabode, a 28-year-old entrepreneur, the stigma surrounding the purchase of male condoms by women was overwhelming.
“I have bought cond0ms before, but I felt like I was doing something wrong”, she said.
Olabode wishes she could be more open with her husband, saying “I wish I could buy cond0ms without feeling ashamed.”
“It’s my body, my health. But I’m afraid of what his reactions would be,” she stressed.
Our correspondent also visited the Ibafo Primary Health Centre where one of the health providers there identified as Akintunde said they mostly provide condoms for men.
When asked if healthcare facilities provide cond0ms to women, Akintunde replied, “We do provide condoms to women, but mostly to men. Women rarely ask for them, and when they do, we give them without hesitation.”
Reacting, a renowned obstetrician and gynaecologist, Dr. Joseph Akinde stressed the importance of condom use in preventing unwanted pregnancies and promoting reproductive health.
Speaking exclusively with PUNCH Healthwise, the former chairman of the Society of Gynaecology and Obstetrics of Nigeria, Lagos chapter, emphasised that sociocultural beliefs should not hinder individuals from accessing effective contraception.
He said, “Cond0ms are a proven and effective method of contraception with minimal side effects. Unfortunately, women in conservative societies like ours often face stigma when purchasing male condoms, being perceived as promiscuous. However, the female condom offers an alternative, empowering women to take control of their reproductive health without requiring their partner’s consent”
Akinde highlighted the significance of female cond0ms, which can be worn hours before intercourse, providing women with autonomy over their reproductive choices.
“Knowledgeable husbands must understand and support their wives’ decision to use condoms. Pregnancy complications, including maternal death, disproportionately affect women. Offering a condom should not be stigmatised; rather, it’s a responsible and proactive step in preventing unwanted pregnancies.”
As a healthcare provider, Akinde shared his personal experience of assisting clients in purchasing condoms and encouraging open discussions about reproductive health.
“Cond0ms are freely available in pharmacies and chemist shops without prescription,” he noted.
“We must put aside hypocrisy and prioritize our reproductive rights. Men and women deserve to enjoy their sexual reproductive health to the maximum,” he stated.
