If My Child Is Not Good At Mathematics Or Intelligent, I’d Call For DNA Test – Rep. Member
If My Child Is Not Good At Mathematics Or Intelligent, I’d Call For DNA Test – Rep. Member. It has been reported that the Chairman, House of Representatives Committee on Justice, and former Deputy Speaker, Imo State House of Assembly Ugonna Ozurigbo has told CHIDIEBUBE OKEOMA about his fatherhood experience
At what age did you get married?
Officially, I got married at the age of 26; that was in 2004. But unofficially, I had been married since I was 20 years old – that was in 1998. It is important to state that the lady I was with when I was 20 years old is my wife today.
When did you become a father?
I became a father 16 years ago and that was in 2005. I got married in 2004 and the following year, God gave us a son.
It was a very important moment in my life. It was an exciting moment, as I felt accomplished and on top of the world.
Would you say you got married at the right time?
No. I will say I got married very late and if God keeps me alive, I will encourage my children, especially the males, to get married at 21.
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Adulthood begins at 18 years but I got married at 26. I often ask myself why I waited eight years after clocking 18 to get married.
If I had got married when I was 20 years old or slightly below, I would have been a grandfather by now. So, in all honesty, I feel that I got married late.
Were you still in school when you got married? I was about going for NYSC (National Youth Service Corps) when I had my traditional wedding. In fact, I left for the NYSC camp from the traditional wedding ground in Owerri (Imo State).
Immediately after the traditional wedding, I just changed my clothes and moved down to Ogun State for my youth service. I took a night bus from Umuahia to the NYSC camp.
I still remember that day. While I was fulfilling my traditional marriage obligations, my eyes and mind were in Ogun where I undertook my NYSC programme. I remember that it was important for me to leave for Ogun State that very day.
From your experience, how will you describe fatherhood?
Fatherhood makes one very responsible.
Like I told you, once any of my kids clocks 21 years, they must get married. Six years before I got married, the man that helped me to start a business never requested any collateral from me.
The only collateral he wanted from me was to get married. And that was from the understanding that being married makes one a responsible person, because marriage comes with responsibilities.
If I borrow money from you, I cannot run away if I am married; I will think about my family. To me, marriage is one of the things that can stand as collateral whenever integrity is needed.
Many young men say they can’t get married until they are financially stable. So, between age and financial stability, which should one consider to determine the right time for marriage?
The truth is that you do not need anything to get married. When I got married I never had anything. I was married those years when I was putting on MTN (promotional) shirt.
I remember that it was my brother who sent me money to buy the outfit for my traditional wedding.
But today, my loving wife and I have built a family. I have grown from nothing to something good.
The advice I will give to them (people waiting for financial stability) is that they do not need the whole world to get married; after all, they say two heads are better than one.
You are a businessman and a politician. How have you been able to combine these with fatherhood? Business and fatherhood go together.
But for politics, you know that going by the laws of the land, I cannot be running a business while occupying a political office.
As a business owner, I had given instructions that my name be removed from the Corporate Affairs Commission documents because of the political office that I occupy. So, I cannot tag myself a businessman now because I am a public servant.
But I will say it is very easy to combine politics and fatherhood. I combine the two the same way civil servants combine their jobs and family obligations.
As a public servant, there is no difference. All you need to do is have a clear-cut timetable.
You must differentiate between your roles as a father and your roles as a public servant. The two work together because they are services to humanity.
Isn’t there any clash between your fatherhood roles and politics?
What is the definition of politics? Politics, simply put, is service to humanity. So, if I am serving humanity, is my family not part of the humanity that I am serving? There cannot be a clash.
Most times, people don’t see politicians that are not married as responsible people. So, I am happy being a married man and also a politician.
During my first tenure in the Imo State House of Assembly, I knew (an unmarried) lady, I will not mention her name, and one of things that affected her was because she was not married.
If you are married, people will study your family life before they can accept your involvement in politics. Marriage gives you a huge advantage in politics. Combining the two is no big deal.
Have you ever accompanied your wife to the labour room?
This is Nigeria; hospitals don’t allow men to go inside the labour room with their wives, most times.
It is only in the western world that it is common for men to join their wives in the delivery room. But I was always at the door each time my wife was in the labour room.
I became born again on each occasion. I would pray more than 50 times before the arrival of the baby. If you want to see a prayer warrior, get any man whose wife is in the labour room.
You will see him recite the Bible from Genesis to Revelation before his wife is delivered of the baby. But by God’s grace I have not gone inside the labour room; I always stay at the door.
How do you discipline your children?
Well, my children see me as a friend. Most times when I tell them I will flog them they will laugh at me.
Their mother is the one you need to ask this question. She doesn’t need to talk to reprimand them. With only a glance at them, they will comport themselves.
For me, I think one doesn’t need to be harsh on children; instead, one should be friendly with them so they can be free to discuss things with you.
Is there anything you learnt from your father that is helping you in raising your children? Whatever I am today I give glory to God and my parents, especially my father.
Growing up, I was stubborn; I never got close to my father because he was always advising me. But now that I have got closer to him, I have started seeing the other side of life.
Even politically, he has been a mentor. He has been the chairman of all my businesses. Even at 89, he still serves as the chairman of all my businesses.
He has mentored me, given me a platform that assisted me even when my uncles were assisting me; he released his property for me to use as collateral.
He is always ready to bring out anything that will ensure the success of my business.
Aside God, I give thanks to my parents. My father taught me how to be a good father. The way he raised me and my siblings is the way I am raising my children.
I learnt the virtues of sincerity, hard work, compassion and attention from my father and I have applied them in raising my children.
What was your experience growing up? My growing up was very rough. Well, I always stand for justice and I can’t stay where people are being maltreated. I can’t stand people being maltreated around me.
Growing up was not that pleasant. I often fight for other people’s cause. But one thing that was sure was that I was very intelligent.
My head was big and my mates and seniors were always taunting me by calling me names like “big man,” “big head,” and “barrow head.” Growing up was not that pleasant, coming from a background with civil servant parents.
But my childhood was fun, quite unlike today, with so much technology. One day, my son told me that he wanted to trek to school but I couldn’t allow him because of the pervading insecurity.
But those days, as a child, you could trek from one street to the other.
Those days you couldn’t come to the living room to watch movies when your parents were watching (news on) NTA; but today, my child can tell me to change the TV channel.
You could not try that in those days when we were growing up. My childhood days had advantages and disadvantages.
As a grown-up man, do you see yourself doing the things your father did in the village, in terms of culture?
I am a chief, I still engage in my tradition and cultural practices, which I am expected to do. I do those things my father did.
Culturally, I have stepped into the shoes of my father. I am from Umuishiokpu, Umuduruezi, Umuozu in Nwangele Local Government of Imo State.
Despite being a former Deputy Speaker of the Imo State House of Assembly and currently the member of the House of Representatives representing Nwangele/Nkwerre/Isu/Njaba federal constituency of Imo State at the National Assembly and the Chairman, House of Committee on Justice, I mingle with my people.
As a chief, it is expected of me to promote our culture, peace and unity among our people. So, I have seen myself doing those things my father did in the village.
Have you received any gift you cherished so much from any of your children?
Yes, they show me love. Gifts are not only material things. When people, especially your family members, give you love and peace of mind, it is worth more than gold and silver.
How do you celebrate your children whenever any of them makes you proud?
Growing up I was very intelligent, so I do not expect any of them not to be intelligent.
My daughter contested election in primary school and won. Academically, I will not accept anything less than what I am seeing.
If I have any child that is not good at mathematics or not intelligent, I will go for a DNA test to confirm if he or she is my biological child.
I do not expect anything different from what I am seeing. (I have got) no special gift because what they are doing was what I did when I was a child.
But that doesn’t mean I don’t buy them gifts.
Do work and political engagements permit you to help your children in their schoolwork?
Whenever I am around, I pick them from school because my wife is very busy with her business.
I also help my children in their school work. Though I have forgotten most of those elementary schoolwork, I help them with the ones I still remember.
My children see me as a friend and gossip mate.
Are you mentoring any of your children to take over from you?
Politically, yes; in business, yes; indeed, I am doing that in every area, including spiritually.
Has raising a family affected your business?
How? It has never affected my business. Rather it has helped my businesses and has also helped me to grow in politics.
People see married people as responsible persons, so, I will say raising a family has not affected my business negatively, rather it has helped my business to grow.
The magic wand is that I have the best woman on earth as a wife and the best kids on earth as my children. They are my friends. I have a very wonderful family.
As a lawmaker, do you think there should be a law mandating public servants to send at least one of their children to public school?
I think there should be, but the problem is the educational system in Nigeria.
In fact, most children in public schools are doing better (than their counterparts in private schools). Most of us attended public schools.
Whether public or private, the most important thing is the ability to let your children school in their country and know the cultural values.
If My Child Is Not Good At Mathematics Or Intelligent, I’d Call For DNA Test. That you are good in mathematics does not mean your child will always be as good as you are also. Stop putting unnecessary pressure on your children’s ability. What is your opinion?
