Problem of child bearing and upbringing
This takes a look at the new challenge that faces a couple with the arrival of children into the family. According to Ola Akinkunmi, This is the major challenge that poses a new dimension of problems and trials, and the new couple therefore needs a lot of divine direction and guidance to manage the situation properly. It is on this note that I decided to address this challenge.
The arrival of the new comer
Under normal circumstances every human being is born into a group called a family, the arrival of the newborn baby brings a lot of joy and happiness but with this comes the challenges in terms of
- The resources to take care of the needs of the new born baby.
- The money to feed numerous wanted and unwanted visitors who on the pretext of celebrating with the family simply pack Their bags from the villages only to take temporary resident with the couple.
- Resources to celebrate the naming ceremony.
- Learning to adapt and adjust to the needs and demand of the newly born baby, tending to separate the couple, the new comer now is the center of attraction, both the wife and husband pays less attention to each other and there seems for the first time tendency to separate even though unconsciously.
- The challenges of Child upbringing which is in two dimensions the physical and the spiritual.
How to deal with it:
i. Pre arrival
ii. The arrival
iii. The up bringing
Pre Arrival Period
Pre- arrival period of the new born baby is the nine- month pregnancy period when the whole family is expectant of the new comer, the couple is advised to take these Nine months like a notice given to a tenant before being ejected from a landlord House, the child has given enough warning period of nine months and so a wise couple should start preparing both financially and spiritually for the baby’s arrival. If the couple are on paid employment, they should set aside sum of money for each month towards the arrival of the baby. It would be grossly irresponsible on the part of a working class couple to be running up and down after the arrival of the baby looking for a loan to take care of the baby or to do the naming ceremony. I used to Wonder in those early days of my career as a personnel administration when my workers came with the good news of their wives safe delivery with mixed feelings. After the good news the next things to expect was ” sir, the problem now is the money to pay for the discharge ofy wife and money to take care of the baby and even the naming ceremony” of course it would be either they collect ( I.O.U) or salary advance. This is type of attitude does not augur well and is even unfair to the new born baby. Apart from saving money for the arrival, the couple should endeavor to procure all their baby’s materials like delivery pack, clothing, flask etc. And keep them as expectant family, for the self employed couples, I advise the within the nine months period to pray for a breakthrough in their businesses and reserve the money for the new baby. It is true that some babies come with good tiding.
To a young couple their first baby tends to post a new challenge to their relationship, there is tendency for one of them to pay more attention to the baby at the neglect of his or her partner, the Bab as we earlier mentioned becomes the center of attraction, some men even keep away from their wives at this period preferring to keep late night, and even when at home keep to themselves, the new couple should get prepared for the challenge and try not to give in to such temptation. The Bible says, the blessing of the Lord, it make the rich, and it addedth no sorrow to it. Prov. 20:22 the arrival of the new baby should bring joy, happiness love and unity. The baby rather than being a separatist suppose to be a cord that further bound the couple together. The couple have a joint divine investment, which everyone has a stake in, or interest to protect. The realization of this should make the couple to overcome the physical tendency to cause separation due to the arrival of the new baby.
The arrival of the new baby also signifies a new dimension of domestic expenditure. The couple now has an extra month to feed and must feed that mouth very well. There is also the challenge of social interaction taking a new turn, the lady can no longer maintain her flashy look. She does not only have protruding tummy but also had to breastfeed her baby with the risk of making her pointed breast flat. This brings her attractive physique to Suspect. The man at this stage may feel irritated. Some men had on the basis of this go out to seek for fresh girls labeling their wives as second hand, this attitude is most unfortunate. It is not only unfair to the woman but Also equally ungodly and evil. The man should get prepared for the this little changes in his beautiful wife an accept it as the car of nature, while the wife should not use this as an excuse to become social nuisance leaving her body Unkempt. She should try and make herself presentable, neat and attractive, this will make the changes in her less pronounced. There is also the challenge of transfer of love: this is a common feature in most couple.
The child upbringing
The child upbringing involves the bringing up of a child in a way that the child will not only be useful to God, but to self and the the society as a whole. It also involves knowing the will of God concerning that Child and helping the Child to fit into the Divine will and purpose. In doing this, the parents have a responsibility to assist the Child spiritually, in this Wise, let us take a look at the specific roles parents should play in the life of a child.
God’s will for the child
For every child that is born, God has a purpose, which is expressed in his will for that Child. The parents are to study their children carefully and identify God’s purpose and will for them. How do you do this? Simple, just watch the child and look out for certain positive manifestation of the God given talent, which may be converted to divine use, the world calls this talent; talent or gift, but spiritually, it is the anointing of God. A child that loves music and has very pleasant voice, if properly guided will be a great gospel singer through his music the good news will be preached to every part of the world.
Child’s growth and development
A child may grow physically to adulthood and yet in conduct, and behavior Still remains a child. In some cases especially amongst the elites, the children are over pampered to the extent that they are not allowed to develop properly. A child that get everything done for him or her may not know what is called dignity of labour such a child may not be able to sustain the parent’s heritage in future. The point I am making is this, even though parents are encouraged to take care of their wards very well, nevertheless they should be allowed to grow and take decisions that affect their lives.