Relationship: Steps on How to make a future wife
Choosing a girl: An ideal wife is a product of good family, the immediate family had tremendous influence on the behavior, attitude and perception of a child be it female or male.
However, according to Ola Akinkunmi, a young girl born into a family will be influenced depending on the structure of the family. In a normal idea family, the family is the head of the family with authority vested on him by God, he calls the shot, he gives the direction, protection and the leadership for the family, he also goes out to provide for the family, he is also the spiritual head of the family, in fact he is the pastor of the family.
Basic Consideration before the choice of a life Partner:
A man that intends or about to make the choice should first consider the following concerning his future wife.
- The family structure:
A structure of an organization or association is the pattern of relationship between units or parts that is relatively enduring over time. Now coming back to the family, the young man should without sentiments or emotions assess the pattern of the relationship amongst various individual in the family, note that when we talk of the family here we are specifically referring to the nucleus family of the father, mother and the children, though they may have other members of the extended family living with them. The pattern of relationship that exists among these individuals will definitely affect the attitude and behavior of any member of the family.
What young men should look:
i. What is the relationship between the father and the mother of your future wife? Is it cordial? Is there mutual respect for each other? Who is the head or leader in the family? Who takes the final decision when the individuals come back from the work or market who radiates the greater joy in the family have you ever gone to your fiancé house when your would be mother -in-law wanted to serve food to your future father in-law? How did she present the food?
- The perception and value system of the young lady:
The young lady value judgment is very important which may be a bye-product of the family structure earlier discussed or of any other influencers. What are those things she holds in high esteem? What are her interests? Perhaps you may attempt to know her belief, religion, customs, and tastes. All theses will have tremendous impacts on her value system. Another point here is determining whether her value system is low or high. That is, what are those things she accord high value on, are those things irrelevant, inconsequential, petty and too ordinary? On the other hand, is her value placed on things of great importance, quality, noble and honorable? Does she easily carry away with fake and flashy things that are of no value? And a lots of other variables to take into consideration.
- The lady’s life style:
When we talk of the lifestyle of a young lady, we are referring to her way of life. Specifically, we talk of discipline, self-denials, moral etiquette, the companies she keeps and her social interaction and spiritual standing. A young girl from a loose background will exhibit social vices such as moral bankruptcy, flirting around with men of loose virtues, unrighteous behavior such as fornication, lying, deception, anger, backbiting etc.
On the other hand, a girl from a discipline background with sound moral upbringing will exhibit virtues like: humility, self-respect, moral uprightness, honesty, faithfulness, loyalty, respect for others, kindness and affection. The problem with a young suitor is that even though all these vices or virtues are visible, they tend to close their eyes to them and concentrate on things of the flesh that is physical attribute or what the bible called outward appearance.
As noted by AKINKUNMI, as a young man that had just fallen in love and believing God for a future home, don’t be emotional about your relationship, open your eyes and examine the life style of your fiancée critically concentrating o the following:
i. The company she keeps
Who are the friends she goes out with? What are their life style, are they discipline, morally upright or the free girls on the street. Are the friends changing men like cloths? If they are of the negative category no amount of self righteousness your fiancée may be claiming, if she feels comfortable in the midst vagabonds then she is definitely one of them.
ii. The moral value
It is important that the young suitor should assess the taste of his future wife in terms of choice of cloths, hair style, makeup, outing, religious belief or her level of faith, her sincerity , faithfulness and loyalty, her faith in God is of utmost importance and very apt to be considered.
The discipline in terms of self denials and sacrifices, do you have easy access to her home and can ask her out without the permission of her parent? If she is in school, do you meet her in school at any time you go and look for her? Or were you always told cock and bull story of where about her roommate?
iv. The spiritual growth
Most marriages are facing serious threat from the devil today because the foundations of such marriage are faulty. Perhaps the greatest challenges facing most Pastors today in their ministry is mending a badly constructed life. Hence when a building is constructed on a sandy ground, such will not stand the storm of life. Therefore, a relationship that commences with sin, is definitely a house built on a sandy foundation. The spouse needs to check out the spiritual status of his future partner. Does she have the fear of God? Is the fire in her still burning? Or has she back slides and living in unrighteousness? A lady that had no fear of God and whose spirit is dead will become a spiritual liability in future.